The impact of losing your front man has broken many a band but also made many bands even better than before. So, since January I've been a bystander watching how Ben, Cam, Sam and James where taking on this new make or break change in their lives. The thing that was immediately obvious was that they weren't going to be beaten, they weren't going to surrender to the loss of their frontman. Nope, not these guys. They were going to come back bigger and better than before.
I have watched Ben write all their albums. He sends me tracks as he writes them and I love hearing each stage as a song is put together. It's awe inspiring to have that music, just there, sitting in your head. Wow. But the energy and passion he has put into this new album is formidable. I'm in awe of where he finds it all. His determination that Asking would continue with a new front man was, I think, the force behind them all. He started Asking from scratch ten years ago and there was no way that this was going to be the end of his dream. Don't get me wrong, the last few months haven't been plain sailing. Ben was extremely upset and saddened about Danny leaving the band. They had been best friends for years and had been through a lot together. Of course he was angry, we all were. But we all knew that this was the best thing for Danny.
I've also watched Danny over the years and I've seen him struggle with his demons. A road that he took Ben along, emotionally, at times. So for me I knew that Danny not being around would lessen some of the stresses and strains of life on the road. He needed to move on to heal himself. Emotionally and musically, Danny was in a very different space to the rest of the band and that was never going to work.
So the guys parted ways leaving Ben with a large gap to fill. I remember clearly where I was when Ben called. I was in London at The Hotel 41, in my room getting ready for bed. He had just spoken to Danny. He was remarkably calm and I remember asking him how he felt about it all. I think relieved was the answer. Sometimes things just have to come to a head and it's the waiting for that pivotal moment that is worse than the actual outcome. A couple of days later I got the angry Ben, the one that needed to emotionally react to this life changing moment. The one that needed to berate himself and Danny before he could move on. Basically Ben had to mourn the loss of his friend and his band as it had been. He had to come to terms with the unknown future ahead of him. And through this, I had complete and utter faith in him as I have had from the very beginning.
Today is the start of Asking Alexandria. Just another new beginning. These guys are like the proverbial Phoenix in the flame. They arise again and again. Each time getting better and more accomplished. When Ben sent me a link for me to listen to Denis cover an Asking song I was astounded by his voice. I love it, the perfect replacement for Danny. He doesn't sound like Danny nor look like him, he doesn't want to be Danny. Denis is bringing himself to the band. He will add new energy and give the guys another view point of who they were, who they are and who they want to be. He will be, no correct that, he is refreshing and exciting.
So last night I tried to stay up for the release of the new single with Denis. I wanted to see the video and read the responses. After chatting to Ben at 2am I finally gave up and went to sleep. I woke up this morning to see that they're trending on twitter, that the majority of the Asking Family love the song and think Denis is a great addition. I watched the video and cried. It was an emotional time seeing the last few months culminated into the one video. The individual statements from each band member where positive and empowering. I literally wanted to jump up and down shouting "they're back."
For me, looking in on it all, it's been a long road as always. I'm Ben's mum and all I want is for him to be happy and safe, as I do for both my beautiful children. I've laughed and cried for Ben, and with him. I've had sleepless nights and days riddled with anxiety for him, but I have never given up on my belief in him. Listening to him talk about the future of the band is uplifting. Apart for that one night, he has stayed positive and happy, stress free and determined; that's my boy!
Ben, I wish you and Asking all the luck in the world; I know how hard you've worked and how far you've travelled to get to this monumental moment. Through it all, I've watched you grow and believe in your dream. I love you all and I'm one proud mum.
#IWONTGIVEIN