A few weekends ago my lovely hubby collected an award for his company. It was very prestigious within the industry and I was very proud. To be honest I'm not at all knowledgable about what he really does! Something to do with banking software and customer service and technical stuff which goes over my head completely. He frequently explains what he does and I nod and smile whilst my head goes 'oh look, sparkles'. It's nothing to do with me not being interested it's just that part of my brain doesn't compute, not even remotely. Sorry babe.
For all I was surrounded by bankers and IT techies I had a lovely evening. A black tie dinner held at the prestigious Landmark Hotel in London. But the thing that resonated deeply within me was the charity that they were supporting this year. Every year a charity is chosen and they hold charity bingo and an auction to raise money. It's lovely to see bankers dig deep into their own pockets!
This year the charity of choice was Child Bereavement Uk. Please google them. Go onto their page and read what they do.
www.childbereavementuk.org
"Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement. Our vision is for all families to have the support they need to rebuild their lives."
"1 in 29 children is bereaved of a parent or sibling, that's one child in every average class in the UK."
This statistic really threw me. As I thought about it I suddenly realised that both Ben and Bex within their school life had lost someone within their school year, as I had. A dear friend of mine lost her husband leaving two young children without a father. A colleague of Rick's lost his wife leaving two more young children. My sister lost a dear friend as a child. So even within my world there has been grief affecting young children. I was so shocked by this. You know it happens; I was a staff nurse on a paediatric unit, not all our young patients survived.
It's completely wrong for a parent to bury a child.
It's completely wrong for a child to lose a parent.
It's completely wrong for a child to lose a sibling.
It's the wrong order of life.
These things will forever have an impact on their lives so any help is gratefully received. Counselling and support are a very necessary part of healing. Families need to know that they aren't alone and that others, sadly, have been through the same heart wrenching grief. I have never had to experience this and I pray I never do. It's a parents worst nightmare. The grief I felt at losing my father in my forties was hard enough; even I said I was too young, he was too young. So it's absolutely incompressible to me, the thought of losing a child or my husband or my children losing a parent.
The lady who gave the talk on the evening took my breath away. This beautiful, sophisticated lady was awe-inspiring. Victoria Milligan went through what is possibly the ultimate nightmare. She lost both her husband and one of her children in a motorboat accident two short years ago. She managed to save herself and her two other children whilst sustaining severe injuries herself, as did her young son; her daughter telling her all the while that 'Daddy's dead'. Can you imagine the trauma that this will have had on this young family. But she stood there in front of us and retold her story. She was so dignified and eloquent, and more than one person in that room was in tears listening to her. I certainly was. I don't know this lady or her family but I do know that her husband and daughter would be so proud her, of how she is moving forward with her life and the work that she is doing for the charity.
I walked away from the evening with a burning impression on my heart. I cannot stop thinking about this inspirational lady, her family and others suffering the same pain. I immediately googled the charity to find out more. It puts your own life into perspective. Yes, I might have side effects to my medication. Yes, I might have had cancer, 'had' being the operative word; but my children are here with me and happy, my husband comes home every night after work. I miss them when they are away, but I know where they are and I can phone them just to hear their voices. One of the things I miss most about losing my dad, is his voice on the end of the phone. Victoria Milligan doesn't have that luxury. She has to continue with her everyday life for her children, no matter the pain she must feel on a daily basis. Not only is she dealing with her own pain and grief, that of her children and other family members, but she is looking after other families who have been through the same deep, dark pain, or will have to sooner rather than later. She is completely selfless and I was honoured to have heard her talk.
Victoria, I wish you all the love on the world; you are truly one of the special people. What you have lost, others have gained from you. You truly are paying it forward. I admire your strength and gentleness, your survivors spirit and your compassion. Thank you for opening my eyes to this charity.
For all I was surrounded by bankers and IT techies I had a lovely evening. A black tie dinner held at the prestigious Landmark Hotel in London. But the thing that resonated deeply within me was the charity that they were supporting this year. Every year a charity is chosen and they hold charity bingo and an auction to raise money. It's lovely to see bankers dig deep into their own pockets!
This year the charity of choice was Child Bereavement Uk. Please google them. Go onto their page and read what they do.
www.childbereavementuk.org
"Child Bereavement UK supports families and educates professionals when a baby or child of any age dies or is dying, or when a child is facing bereavement. Our vision is for all families to have the support they need to rebuild their lives."
"1 in 29 children is bereaved of a parent or sibling, that's one child in every average class in the UK."
This statistic really threw me. As I thought about it I suddenly realised that both Ben and Bex within their school life had lost someone within their school year, as I had. A dear friend of mine lost her husband leaving two young children without a father. A colleague of Rick's lost his wife leaving two more young children. My sister lost a dear friend as a child. So even within my world there has been grief affecting young children. I was so shocked by this. You know it happens; I was a staff nurse on a paediatric unit, not all our young patients survived.
It's completely wrong for a parent to bury a child.
It's completely wrong for a child to lose a parent.
It's completely wrong for a child to lose a sibling.
It's the wrong order of life.
These things will forever have an impact on their lives so any help is gratefully received. Counselling and support are a very necessary part of healing. Families need to know that they aren't alone and that others, sadly, have been through the same heart wrenching grief. I have never had to experience this and I pray I never do. It's a parents worst nightmare. The grief I felt at losing my father in my forties was hard enough; even I said I was too young, he was too young. So it's absolutely incompressible to me, the thought of losing a child or my husband or my children losing a parent.
The lady who gave the talk on the evening took my breath away. This beautiful, sophisticated lady was awe-inspiring. Victoria Milligan went through what is possibly the ultimate nightmare. She lost both her husband and one of her children in a motorboat accident two short years ago. She managed to save herself and her two other children whilst sustaining severe injuries herself, as did her young son; her daughter telling her all the while that 'Daddy's dead'. Can you imagine the trauma that this will have had on this young family. But she stood there in front of us and retold her story. She was so dignified and eloquent, and more than one person in that room was in tears listening to her. I certainly was. I don't know this lady or her family but I do know that her husband and daughter would be so proud her, of how she is moving forward with her life and the work that she is doing for the charity.
I walked away from the evening with a burning impression on my heart. I cannot stop thinking about this inspirational lady, her family and others suffering the same pain. I immediately googled the charity to find out more. It puts your own life into perspective. Yes, I might have side effects to my medication. Yes, I might have had cancer, 'had' being the operative word; but my children are here with me and happy, my husband comes home every night after work. I miss them when they are away, but I know where they are and I can phone them just to hear their voices. One of the things I miss most about losing my dad, is his voice on the end of the phone. Victoria Milligan doesn't have that luxury. She has to continue with her everyday life for her children, no matter the pain she must feel on a daily basis. Not only is she dealing with her own pain and grief, that of her children and other family members, but she is looking after other families who have been through the same deep, dark pain, or will have to sooner rather than later. She is completely selfless and I was honoured to have heard her talk.
Victoria, I wish you all the love on the world; you are truly one of the special people. What you have lost, others have gained from you. You truly are paying it forward. I admire your strength and gentleness, your survivors spirit and your compassion. Thank you for opening my eyes to this charity.