My Beautiful Bex is moving into her first proper home since she left Dubai. I'm so excited for her.
Four years ago she left Dubai and has lived in student accommodation. For the first year she was in a studio apartment and the last three years she's been in the same shared house. To be honest, it's not the best way to live, for anyone! Although this last year has been much better as her house mates are nice.
When I meet people who are new to Dubai I always tell them to give it two years. Within those two years not only have you left your family and friends behind but you've packed up your home and life to start a completely different life. It's such a hard thing to do and the same applied to Bex moving home. The reason we chose a studio apartment for her first year was because I thought that moving straight into shared accommodation with complete strangers would be a really tough transition. You don't know these people at all; who they are, their personality traits, cleanliness, and general attitude. If she had moved into a house with some of her later housemates, in that first year she would have been on the next flight home and there's no way I would have got her back to the UK. This way at least she had the comfort of her own space where she could feel safe. In fairness she was very homesick and lonely but I still think it was the best decision.
This gave her time to meet people and see if she wanted to house share or stay where she was. Having spent a year in the student flats she decided that she would rather move out. Yes she was lonely but it was really noisy too. Constantly throughout the night. It drove me nuts when I used to stay so goodness knows how she coped living there. Well, she didn't I guess!
So in her second year she moved into a house share and has lived there ever since. This house has been a mixed blessing. She's had a few horrendous housemates and finally in her last year she has some nice ones. The toughest thing, I think, is that everyone is so busy doing their coursework that cleanliness is put on the back burner. You have five people living in a house; some working part time as well as studying, and everyone living their own lives. It's difficult to have any routine for chores. The other thing that's tough for Bex though is that her entire life is crammed into one room. She hasn't had the luxury of a bedroom at home in which to keep her personal belongings and just swap things around. Her bedroom is here. So when other students go home for the weekend or half term, she's stayed in the house. I've hated that. Before the arrival of the lovely Ash we flew her home for the main uni breaks so she had a chance to relax in her own space, in a comfortable environment but once she had Ash, as I've said before, she hasn't been back. This has meant that the house has become her home. And that's ok it's how it's had to be.
Settling into a new life is tough though and again, my two year theory has pretty much rung true for Bex. The friends she made in her first two years are not the people she is friends with now. You meet people at first and bond because you need a friend. No one likes to feel alone or isolated. Most people like to have a network of family and friends around them. Bex didn't have that option. I sent her to one of the farthest points away from most of our family; Sorry! My uncle and Aunt live two and half hours away which isn't bad and on occasion they've been to see Bex and she's gone to stay with them but within Plymouth we knew nobody. So of course Bex wanted to make friends but these are stepping stone friends, the friends that slot into ' a reason' friendship.
This year though it's all change. Her degree is done and dusted. She's made some lovely new friends that I'm pretty sure will be around for at least 'a season'. Now she's moving into a home just for her and Dan. It's such an exciting stage for them both. She's happily sourcing second hand furniture, she's getting some things from her grandparent's house, and of course there will be a few new things needed. It's a short term let for now because we don't know where she's going to find a job. That doesn't matter though, it's going to be their home. Their mess to tidy up, their dirty dishes in the sink, their bin to empty. How nice.
The thing is we all need a place to call our own and she hasn't had that for a long time. Neither did Ben for years. His home was the tour bus, a room in a friend's house, living with his 'to be' in laws. It's a tough way to live. I've seen the change in him since he and Sam have had their own home. Whether you rent or buy, the feeling of having a home to return to after touring or just after a days work, is indescribable. I've seen Ben settle into himself and he's a happier man now he has a home. I know it's going to be the same for Bex. I can hear the excitement in her voice, just talking about what she needs to get for this house. She's already thinking about it being her home. And the thing is that whatever we buy for this house, is theirs for wherever they move to. It's so exciting.
It's been a long time coming but my beautiful Bex is getting a home that she deserves.
Four years ago she left Dubai and has lived in student accommodation. For the first year she was in a studio apartment and the last three years she's been in the same shared house. To be honest, it's not the best way to live, for anyone! Although this last year has been much better as her house mates are nice.
When I meet people who are new to Dubai I always tell them to give it two years. Within those two years not only have you left your family and friends behind but you've packed up your home and life to start a completely different life. It's such a hard thing to do and the same applied to Bex moving home. The reason we chose a studio apartment for her first year was because I thought that moving straight into shared accommodation with complete strangers would be a really tough transition. You don't know these people at all; who they are, their personality traits, cleanliness, and general attitude. If she had moved into a house with some of her later housemates, in that first year she would have been on the next flight home and there's no way I would have got her back to the UK. This way at least she had the comfort of her own space where she could feel safe. In fairness she was very homesick and lonely but I still think it was the best decision.
This gave her time to meet people and see if she wanted to house share or stay where she was. Having spent a year in the student flats she decided that she would rather move out. Yes she was lonely but it was really noisy too. Constantly throughout the night. It drove me nuts when I used to stay so goodness knows how she coped living there. Well, she didn't I guess!
So in her second year she moved into a house share and has lived there ever since. This house has been a mixed blessing. She's had a few horrendous housemates and finally in her last year she has some nice ones. The toughest thing, I think, is that everyone is so busy doing their coursework that cleanliness is put on the back burner. You have five people living in a house; some working part time as well as studying, and everyone living their own lives. It's difficult to have any routine for chores. The other thing that's tough for Bex though is that her entire life is crammed into one room. She hasn't had the luxury of a bedroom at home in which to keep her personal belongings and just swap things around. Her bedroom is here. So when other students go home for the weekend or half term, she's stayed in the house. I've hated that. Before the arrival of the lovely Ash we flew her home for the main uni breaks so she had a chance to relax in her own space, in a comfortable environment but once she had Ash, as I've said before, she hasn't been back. This has meant that the house has become her home. And that's ok it's how it's had to be.
Settling into a new life is tough though and again, my two year theory has pretty much rung true for Bex. The friends she made in her first two years are not the people she is friends with now. You meet people at first and bond because you need a friend. No one likes to feel alone or isolated. Most people like to have a network of family and friends around them. Bex didn't have that option. I sent her to one of the farthest points away from most of our family; Sorry! My uncle and Aunt live two and half hours away which isn't bad and on occasion they've been to see Bex and she's gone to stay with them but within Plymouth we knew nobody. So of course Bex wanted to make friends but these are stepping stone friends, the friends that slot into ' a reason' friendship.
This year though it's all change. Her degree is done and dusted. She's made some lovely new friends that I'm pretty sure will be around for at least 'a season'. Now she's moving into a home just for her and Dan. It's such an exciting stage for them both. She's happily sourcing second hand furniture, she's getting some things from her grandparent's house, and of course there will be a few new things needed. It's a short term let for now because we don't know where she's going to find a job. That doesn't matter though, it's going to be their home. Their mess to tidy up, their dirty dishes in the sink, their bin to empty. How nice.
The thing is we all need a place to call our own and she hasn't had that for a long time. Neither did Ben for years. His home was the tour bus, a room in a friend's house, living with his 'to be' in laws. It's a tough way to live. I've seen the change in him since he and Sam have had their own home. Whether you rent or buy, the feeling of having a home to return to after touring or just after a days work, is indescribable. I've seen Ben settle into himself and he's a happier man now he has a home. I know it's going to be the same for Bex. I can hear the excitement in her voice, just talking about what she needs to get for this house. She's already thinking about it being her home. And the thing is that whatever we buy for this house, is theirs for wherever they move to. It's so exciting.
It's been a long time coming but my beautiful Bex is getting a home that she deserves.