I was extremely honoured when Ben asked me to help choose Sam's engagement ring. He said he loved my taste in jewellery and knew Sam did too. Such an intimate thing to be a part of. And just knowing that her engagement ring is from the jewellers where I've had my rings made adds to that feeling. Sam will always have a piece of Dubai and that's special, keeping the link between Ben's homes.
I was on tender hooks though. They were getting married after I'd finished all my treatment but I was suffering from fatigue and the journey from Dubai to Asheville was a long one. Because of this and my hat box, my Dicky B booked us to fly business class. What an amazing trip it was though. We flew into Washington and spent a couple of days there with friends. Then we collected a hire car and drove to Asheville along the mountain route, even seeing a bear cub along the way. Absolutely stunning scenery and as we got closer to Biltmore Estate I could see why they had chosen this area and venue. It was so green and lush that it reminded me of the uk. A little piece of England for Ben on his wedding day; perfect.
I was so excited to see Ben. In fact I was beside myself waiting to see him. Of course I was excited to see Sam too but there's something about your child getting married. It's kind of like you got it right. That you've done something right during their childhood and upbringing. I had been worried that Ben and Bex would be put off marriage having watched what their dad and I had been through. For all that, I was hoping they would still get married as it is a special bond and commitment between two people. I was also expecting them to say that it wasn't for them. And I would have been ok with that, sad that I'd had a negative impact but I would have accepted and understood their choices; as if I have a choice!!
But Ben wanted to marry his beautiful Sam. He wanted to have a family with her. He wanted to make a home with her; and he's well on the way to completing his dream.
I have to be honest though, I did have one slight worry about his wedding day... I was concerned that the lads would think that shots were the way forward and start partying as soon as they woke up. I totally underestimated them though and for that I'm sorry; I owe you all a drink. Yes, there were a few bucks fizz partaken to calm nerves but no shots and no rowdiness. They had total respect for Ben and Sam on their wedding day. Thank you lads. In fact I think the bride and all her party probably drank more than them.
The day dawned bright and beautiful, the rain had passed and the sun was shining. A perfect start to their day. I was lucky enough to be party to both the bride and grooms morning. I got to hang out with Ben whilst he was pacing around, although I turned down the offer to go for a Mickey D's. Yep, the groom had a burger on the morning of his wedding! To be honest I think he was probably nervous and needed to get out and keep busy. I left that treat to my husband, along with other family members.
Then I was invited to have my hair and makeup done with the bridal party, I've never had my makeup done professionally before and it just added to the magic of the day. Thank you Sam for including me in your special morning, I was honoured to be a part of it. It was so lovely being in the room with all the bridesmaids and Sam's mum. The chatter was nonstop and the champagne was flowing. Continuos giggling and oohs as each girl finished their hair and makeup. Everyone was beautiful but none so much as the bride, she really was glowing. Absolutely beautiful.
But this all leads to me to my most incredible, breath taking moment. Watching my handsome son walk down the aisle to Coldplay's When I Ruled The World. To this day, I can't listen to this song without feeling emotional. It's such an anthem and the perfect song for him to stand and wait for his bride to be. As he stood there though, in his custom made suit, I was unable to look him in the eye. I could not bring myself to make that eye contact as I knew that if I did I would be in the flood of tears that were hovering just beneath my composure. I also know that he too was unable to look at me for the same reason. He needed to keep it together. When you have such a strong bond, as I do with my children, it's sometimes best not to allow that moment of weakness a tiny crack to slip through. One look from my son as he waited for his bride would have been too much. The pride I felt for him on that day, as I do on every other day, was indescribable. A bigger emotion than I ever thought I was able to feel. It really is an incredible moment, watching your son get married. But if that pride is a huge emotional oasis then the love I felt for him, and still do, is immeasurable.
To Ben, I'm proud of the man you've become. To Sam, I can't have asked for a better wife for my son. I love you both more than words can say.