You know, this boy of mine is full on busy when he's on tour and I never know how much time he will have free for me. That's ok, I understand; even five minutes is enough. But I got way more than that. Although to be honest my first sight of Ben was his tousled hair poking out of the side of his bunk as he sleepily woke up. That little boy look that he hasn't outgrown; a bit grumpy looking because he never likes waking up, unless it's Christmas morning and then he's up bright and early bugging me to open stockings right now or he will open it without me. So, I bravely went where no mum has gone before; to the sleeping quarters of a band that had been on tour for two weeks without a mum to tidy or clean up behind them. A very male domain that I expected to reek and was pleasantly surprised when my nostrils were not assaulted as my head poked up through the stair well. What it was though was eerily silent. Ben was pretty much the only one on the bus apart from a couple of crew members who were just on their way back into the venue.
DickyB had already popped up to warn him I was there. (I was too scared of what I might encounter once I climbed up to the sleeping area of the bus!) So as I bent down to kiss my beautiful Ben, he was still in that sleepy stage but I got that lovely smile I'd been waiting for. A smile and a kiss from my son.
'So just remember, That when there's enough love in our hearts to burst like a fuckin' supernova, Then there sure as hell's enough love in our heart, to spark that famous smile.'
And that's what I had been waiting for, that face, that smile. Indescribable.
I got so much more time with my beautiful Ben than I expected. After saying hi and getting my first hug we walked in to the venue so Ben could do the meet and greet. At which point I went to meet up with the Six Litre Club. But as promised Ben gave me plenty of time. He met us all at the hotel between meet and greet and the start of the show. I had such a great time with us all together, just chatting and catching up; and when everyone went to get dinner Ben and I stayed in the hotel, just us, talking and touching base with each other. I absorbed every moment with him, enjoying him actually being right there, sitting next to me. Something I miss so much. In fact we talked so much that we both missed dinner before Ben had to head back to the venue for the show.
But that wasn't the end of my time with Ben. Nope, I then had the utmost pleasure of watching Asking perform with Denis. An absolutely incredible experience. I've watched the boys grow and mature over the past eight years so I was looking forward to seeing this next stage of their evolution. Denis lived up to all the reviews I'd seen online. He is energetic and passionate about Asking, he obviously not only is very talented but he loves doing what he does and it was a pleasure to see the lads back on form. It's always an absolute pleasure for me to see Ben doing what he loves the most. Seeing him on stage doing what he does best is one of the most incredible things I have ever experienced. It's very surreal to me knowing that thousands of people adore him, that he is in fact famous. To me he's just my Ben; an amazing man that only those close to him truly know. There's a preconceived idea of rock stars and some people love to judge just from looking in from the outside without truly knowing. That's ok, it comes with the territory of being in the public eye. I'm digressing though this isn't about Ben's life in the public eye, it's about my fleeting few hours that I got to spend with him. And that's what it's all about; I might only have seen him for about four hours but those hours have topped up my heart.
Once the boys had finished on stage, showered and taken a minute to breathe, Ben rejoined us in our hotel lobby where the conversation started up again as if it hadn't stopped. James also joined us for a few drinks which turned into a few more drinks. We took over the lobby sofas and stayed on the polite side of rowdy! A few times I stopped just to watch Ben interacting with our friends, just watching him and enjoying him being there next to me on the sofa. I didn't feel the need to monopolise him, just being together was enough.
Once again, it was time to say goodbye but as I watched my wonderful son walk away, this time I didn't shed a tear. Nope, not one. You see I have another countdown; my favourite thing. I shall fly out to the US to spend a week over New Years with my beautiful Ben. So that's not too far away, a do-able amount of time between Ben hugs, until I see that smile again. What more could a mum want? Christmas with my beautiful Bex and New Years with my Boy. Oh yeh, to have us all together for both festivities would be amazing, but with us all living in different countries that's not always possible.
As Ben once said to me, "It doesn't matter when we see each other, because when we are together it's always Christmas."