My friend is going through such a hard time at the moment and it's breaking my heart. This beautiful lady gives her all to others even though she lives with a chronic illness. She never hesitates to put sunshine back into your life.
I was introduced to her by another friend, who had been saying for a long time that we needed to meet. Two creative, free spirits who have a love of life and see the world through the same slightly wonky eyes. And this friend was right, we instantly hit it off, recognising a kindred spirit. Different enough that we both gain from this friendship but similar enough that we get it; we understand each other. And that's a special friendship. I have many other truly good friends, but this beautiful lady lives here in Dubai. Not only that, but once we started chatting on that first meeting we realised that she lived two streets walking distance from me, and we had never met! So, it was an easy friendship to cultivate and grow. Which we have.
We have been through many of life's traumas together, being there for each other when we've both needed it. Sometimes you don't want to tell everybody what you are going through, not all of it. It's human nature to want to protect ourselves and lessen the impact of whatever negativity might be going on. Sometimes we just hurt too much to be able to open up to more than a very few people, if anyone at all. But she was one of the first people I told about my breast cancer. She was the person I told, before my wedding, that I had a gut feeling that something was wrong but was going to wait until after the wedding until I had my check ups. She has been there for me when my children left home, when my dad died, when my sister turned on me. I've cried with her more than once but we've laughed together much more. No matter how low one of us might be feeling, at some point during a conversation we will laugh. And that's good for the soul.
My lovely friend has dragged me into parts of Dubai that I haven't been to for years. She drags me to yoga no matter how tired I am, because if she can do it, I can. She's inspirational. And I think in return I've made her laugh, I've understood her, I've given her as much as she's given me. I hope so. As I've mentioned before we have friends that fulfil different needs, and she's an important part of my life.
Because of her condition, she lives her life by the Spoon Theory, she was the one who introduced me to this theory not long after I met her. One of the first things I did after I met her was to google her condition so that I could understand everything she deals with on a day to day basis. It's tough and unending, it's incurable and causes a slow insipid deterioration, but to look at her you would never, ever know. This beautiful lady, and trust me she is absolutely stunning both inside and out, lives her life to the full; yes she has help at home so that she's able to focus on the important aspects of life, so she can rest when she needs to but other than that her life is as normal as mine or yours. (Did I say my life was normal, that's about the same as saying I'm normal which we all know Ben and Bex would fiercely argue the case).
She is a full time, hands on mum, and has a great relationship with her girls. You can see it and feel the love between them all. She's a great wife and runs her home more smoothly than a lot of women who are fully well and able. I'm always in awe of her; she never stops. She runs her home, designs the most exquisite and unique jewellery, customises her clothes and is just a wonderful mum.
But at this moment in time she's tired. Mentally and physically exhausted. Having lived with this disease for over ten years it's taking it's toll on her and she's grieving for her healthier self. This is perfectly natural, anyone who lives with a chronic condition will grieve for themselves. What's upset me though is how few of her friends have reached out to her. Am I the only one who can hear it in her voice? Am I the only one who see that the sparkle in her eyes has gone? I go away for the summer in two weeks time and I'm worried about leaving her here with no one to give her the TLC she so desperately needs. If I could take her home with me, I would. I'm going to chat to her hubby before I leave to see if he can step up to the mark but he's so caught up in work that he hasn't really noticed what's happening right in front of his face. To me it's glaringly obvious but maybe that's because years ago I was in a very similar place, I recognise it in her.
It's funny how people gravitate towards her during their own periods of anxiety but they step away from her when she needs the love reciprocated. Why do people do that? I know that everyone has their own issues within their lives. It's not that they are selfish individuals but they obviously can't face up to this wonderful woman's condition. I just don't understand that. Part of me is mad with her friends; why are they running away, why are they hiding from her?
It's her turn to feel the warmth and love of her friends around her. She needs every one of us. I know that the life will return into her eyes, that she will see the glittering rainbows again but it's going to take time. This isn't paying it forward, this is simply loving a friend in need so she knows she's not alone.
Well you're not alone, no matter where I am or what's happening in my life, you've got me 24/7 whether you like it or not. I love you.
I was introduced to her by another friend, who had been saying for a long time that we needed to meet. Two creative, free spirits who have a love of life and see the world through the same slightly wonky eyes. And this friend was right, we instantly hit it off, recognising a kindred spirit. Different enough that we both gain from this friendship but similar enough that we get it; we understand each other. And that's a special friendship. I have many other truly good friends, but this beautiful lady lives here in Dubai. Not only that, but once we started chatting on that first meeting we realised that she lived two streets walking distance from me, and we had never met! So, it was an easy friendship to cultivate and grow. Which we have.
We have been through many of life's traumas together, being there for each other when we've both needed it. Sometimes you don't want to tell everybody what you are going through, not all of it. It's human nature to want to protect ourselves and lessen the impact of whatever negativity might be going on. Sometimes we just hurt too much to be able to open up to more than a very few people, if anyone at all. But she was one of the first people I told about my breast cancer. She was the person I told, before my wedding, that I had a gut feeling that something was wrong but was going to wait until after the wedding until I had my check ups. She has been there for me when my children left home, when my dad died, when my sister turned on me. I've cried with her more than once but we've laughed together much more. No matter how low one of us might be feeling, at some point during a conversation we will laugh. And that's good for the soul.
My lovely friend has dragged me into parts of Dubai that I haven't been to for years. She drags me to yoga no matter how tired I am, because if she can do it, I can. She's inspirational. And I think in return I've made her laugh, I've understood her, I've given her as much as she's given me. I hope so. As I've mentioned before we have friends that fulfil different needs, and she's an important part of my life.
Because of her condition, she lives her life by the Spoon Theory, she was the one who introduced me to this theory not long after I met her. One of the first things I did after I met her was to google her condition so that I could understand everything she deals with on a day to day basis. It's tough and unending, it's incurable and causes a slow insipid deterioration, but to look at her you would never, ever know. This beautiful lady, and trust me she is absolutely stunning both inside and out, lives her life to the full; yes she has help at home so that she's able to focus on the important aspects of life, so she can rest when she needs to but other than that her life is as normal as mine or yours. (Did I say my life was normal, that's about the same as saying I'm normal which we all know Ben and Bex would fiercely argue the case).
She is a full time, hands on mum, and has a great relationship with her girls. You can see it and feel the love between them all. She's a great wife and runs her home more smoothly than a lot of women who are fully well and able. I'm always in awe of her; she never stops. She runs her home, designs the most exquisite and unique jewellery, customises her clothes and is just a wonderful mum.
But at this moment in time she's tired. Mentally and physically exhausted. Having lived with this disease for over ten years it's taking it's toll on her and she's grieving for her healthier self. This is perfectly natural, anyone who lives with a chronic condition will grieve for themselves. What's upset me though is how few of her friends have reached out to her. Am I the only one who can hear it in her voice? Am I the only one who see that the sparkle in her eyes has gone? I go away for the summer in two weeks time and I'm worried about leaving her here with no one to give her the TLC she so desperately needs. If I could take her home with me, I would. I'm going to chat to her hubby before I leave to see if he can step up to the mark but he's so caught up in work that he hasn't really noticed what's happening right in front of his face. To me it's glaringly obvious but maybe that's because years ago I was in a very similar place, I recognise it in her.
It's funny how people gravitate towards her during their own periods of anxiety but they step away from her when she needs the love reciprocated. Why do people do that? I know that everyone has their own issues within their lives. It's not that they are selfish individuals but they obviously can't face up to this wonderful woman's condition. I just don't understand that. Part of me is mad with her friends; why are they running away, why are they hiding from her?
It's her turn to feel the warmth and love of her friends around her. She needs every one of us. I know that the life will return into her eyes, that she will see the glittering rainbows again but it's going to take time. This isn't paying it forward, this is simply loving a friend in need so she knows she's not alone.
Well you're not alone, no matter where I am or what's happening in my life, you've got me 24/7 whether you like it or not. I love you.