The thing is there is so much to organise when you leave your adopted home after 22 years. It's not just packing up your suitcase and getting on the next flight. Nope, it's a whole life and home you have to ship home. Hence all my manic decluttering since January. Not only did I want to get rid of all the 'rubbish' that we've collected but I wanted to make sure that when I start to unpack at the other end my belongings aren't randomly in boxes packed for me but are actually together and organised. That I can put them away as is. Everything has been put into it's correct place, boxed and labelled ready for the packers and myself. Obviously I can't pre-pack all the china and ornaments, kitchen utensils and equipment, but trust me when I say that my cupboards are obsessively organised now. I even wonder at myself; the worry is real!
Yesterday I sold my car. It was a sad day. I won (yes, that's right, I WON) my lovely car in a raffle during Dubai Shopping Festival 12 years ago. I was in dire need of a new car and we were in the process of looking for one when I won the top prize in a local supermarket raffle. One silver Chevrolet Trailblazer joined our family; charlotte the Chevy... Yes, I name my cars. And I've loved her. She's been a star driving the early Asking members around, sweaty grumpy teens (Ben's friends!) and Bex's gorgeous, sweet smelling girlies. Hours spent traversing Dubai through the heat and torrential rain, floods and humidity. There's something quite final about selling your car. When I spoke to Ben and Bex's dad he was shocked, commenting that I really was leaving. In fact he actually said "the end of an 'error' " charming!
Then to make it even more real, the packers are in on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. It takes 6-7 weeks for my things to be shipped home and I'd rather live in an empty house here for 5 weeks than sit in my new home without my personal belongs. How can I transform those four walls into a home without my stuff. I say 'my' because to be honest I tend to dictate our interior design. DickyB obviously has a say but I have strong feelings about where things should be and can visualise any room with our belongings. Although DickyB does have a great eye too. But I'm naturally a homemaker. I love putting a home together. So we are sleeping on mattresses on the floor, keeping our old sofa and chairs; the tv came with the villa and I've paired down the kitchen to basics. We can and will survive until the end of April in this villa, which will cease to be my home as I watch the last box being loaded into the container.
And as I sit here tonight, DickyB and I are going through all the customs forms. Whose arriving where and when. Phone numbers, addresses, approval of shipment, insurance, to name but a few things that we need to sort out. So much to do. But the insurance.... How on earth can you put a value on all your belongings? Furniture and white goods are easy enough but your clothes, shoes and everyday belongings. That's not including the one off pieces and pictures, the unique pieces I've collected over all the years I've lived overseas. And then we move onto all those irreplaceable and personal things. Gifts filled with love on Mother's Day and for birthdays, cards and photos. My home in Saudi was flooded and I lost so many momentoes. Heartbreaking but it made me realise that my memories are within me and they can't be lost or damaged.
More than that though, I have to pack up and ship my boys home. Nelson is a grumpy 14 year old who hates all other cats. Dennis is a sensitive and anxious 7 year old who stresses if his family aren't around. And they hate each other with a ferocious passion. So, they will be shipped out a few days after me; on an Emirates flight, in a cat approved hold, sound proofed below the captain within a temperature controlled room with soft lighting. They also have their own lounge within the airport. Pretty sure they'll be more precious than me. Not to mention I'm booking them into a cat hotel when they arrive, with individual log cabins, heating, armchairs, runs and scenic views.
It's all about the cats!
Earlier today though I was sitting with my beautiful Lilly and her daughter asked me not to leave and said she didn't know what she would do without me; I looked at Lilly and we both had an immense sadness come across us. I might be excited to be going home but I'm leaving one of my very best friends behind. I have no idea how I'll get through my week without a regular visit into La Folia's studio, without putting the world to rights with her, without just being there and knowing that we understand each other without words. Then I remember that I have a few friends scattered around the world with whom I have that same friendship, that we have survived the distance of being longterm friends; that we will still be there for each other and will find a new balance.
So I'm heading home for a new adventure, to experience new things. Not to leave my friends behind but to give them new experiences along with me; for distant friends to become close friends. I'm heading home to my family, to where my heart is. It's time. It's where I need to be.